The more you give in to

unreasonable demands

of your employer,

your employees,

your customers,

your suppliers.

The more unreasonable will be their demands going forward.

This principle applies to all relationships.

Eyes wide open. Risk nothing. Get nothing.
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From Dr. Jim Sellner, PhD., DipC. – The guy who works with you — one conversation at a  time — to create workplaces where people love to do their best and customers love to do business with you.

Groupthink: a term coined in 1952.

It’s about a person being  too afraid to express his or her opinions for fear of being ostracized by a group or general consensus. We now refer to it as being “politically correct.”

Groupthink is nothing new.

The Salem witch trials and the assassination of Christ as well as character assassinations in the McCarthy era come to mind.

Today it’s going on in blog Web sites.

It’s easy to see in business. Lots of organizations lose the next big idea to competitors because people were afraid to take a chance, then watch as another company took the risks and reaped the rewards.

Apple, Ideo and Zappos are examples of companies which have avoided the pitfalls of “Groupthink.”

Fear of discomfort and an instinctive but ill-fated urge to preserve the status quo are increasingly embattled topics since the election of President Obama. The collapse of many of our financial institutions during the recession and a myriad of other recent social and political turbulences.

Because we are frail, frightened humans, “groupthink” prevails. It’s comfortable, and like so many things in life, very little about any issue is cut and dried, all bad or all good.

The antidote to “groupthink” is also a very human trait — acting with courage and conviction in the face of criticism and character assassination.

The pay-off is self-respect, internal fortitude and ultimately, a sense of peace on one’s deathbed.

Our models for anti-group think? Mother Teresa. Nelson Mandela. Peter Drucker. There are many more.

Eyes wide open. Risk nothing. Get nothing.
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From Dr. Jim Sellner, PhD., DipC. – The guy who works with you — one conversation at a  time — to create workplaces where people love to do their best and customers love to do business with you.

BEING WRONG: Adventures in the Margin of Error — By Kathryn Schulz

Schulz contends that errors, bad judgments, being wrong about being right are like cockroaches.

We stomp them out the moment we see them, then dispose of the corpse as fast as we can.

We do not pause to contemplate that if we admit to being wrong we might enjoy more instances of being right.

Eyes wide open. Risk nothing. Get nothing.
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From Dr. Jim Sellner, PhD., DipC. – The guy who works with you — one conversation at a  time — to create workplaces where people love to do their best and customers love to do business with you.

Leadership/Ownership/Manager Dilemma

Employees don’t have skin in the game of the business so there is little incentive to change – that includes the c-suite and even CEO’s.

We try to overcome this with incentives, bonuses, etc. with variable success.

There are two ways that people will make changes for the better — and that includes all of us.

1. To avoid feeling the painful consequences of my behaviours.

2. To experience some anticipated future pleasure that overwhelms
my present resistance to move out of my comfort zone.

P.S. One definition of culture is:

“Observable behaviours that you can get away with.”

Eyes wide open. Risk nothing. Get nothing.
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From Dr. Jim Sellner, PhD., DipC. – The guy who works with you — one conversation at a  time — to create workplaces where people love to do their best and customers love to do business with you.

Its summer.

I am a heterosex.ual guy who is 67 years old — to set my context.

I walk along the beach. It is hot and sultry.

A thought occurs to me.

“Why do women feel OK about wearing a skimpy bikini but are embarrassed if a man sees them in their underwear, even if the underwear reveals a lot less than the skimpy bikini.”

I think its about context.

The beach is assumed by most people to be a place to wear certain kinds of clothes.

Wear underwear on the beach and a whole different set of stimuli are generated in the mind.

Wear a bikini to work and well, you understand.

So think about how your context (in a company we call it culture) affects how your mind works – for better or for worse, in fear and in comfort.

P.S. One definition of culture is: “Observable behaviours that you can get away with.”
Eyes wide open. Risk nothing. Get nothing.
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From Dr. Jim Sellner, PhD., DipC. – The guy who works with you — one conversation at a  time — to create workplaces where people love to do their best and customers love to do business with you.

A commitment is generated by anticipation of future security and the delight of not having to chase (a person, a customer).

Commitment is a function of the gap between what I promise and what I am able and/or willing to deliver over time.

Every commitment made involves a risk on the part of both parties.

Companies, brides and grooms are usually studiously oblivious to this brutal fact. Corporate and personal romantic denial out muscles rationality. Who of us has not danced in glee over getting something big that later disappoints?

Thing is, if I promise very little, I don’t get a chance to deliver it to you because you will write me off.

If I promise too much, I don’t get a chance to deliver, because you don’t believe me, based on past big promises that have broken by me or others. Thrice bitten, thrice shy.

Hence the paradox.

The more I commitment to _____ (fill in the blank), the less likely I will be able and/or willing to deliver and the less likely we will break the risk-to-trust barriers.

Consultants often over-promise because it gets us past the client’s resistance to buy.  Big mistake because the client is quickly disappointed by our failure, in their view, to deliver to their romantic fantasies.

This over-promise thing is ridiculously articulated in those internet offers. “buy now and your life will be easy for the rest of your life” Ya right!

But, without commitment, whether to one’s Self or to others, there is no chance of moving forward.

The paradox is that I have to accept the fact that in making and accepting the commitment, I will be disappointed.

I am adult enough to take that risk.

I have a high enough trust in my Self that I can and will exert the ability and willingness to accept disappointment, and engage in re-working our commitments so we can take the next risks to move forward together.

Are you willing to risk a life in which the only guarantee is that everything is subject2change?
Eyes wide open. Risk nothing. Get nothing.
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From Dr. Jim Sellner, PhD., DipC. – The guy who works with you — one conversation at a  time — to create workplaces where people love to do their best and customers love to do business with you.

I think most people don’t really want to change for the better.

We just want less pain and suffering, preferably with a quick “magic pill” that takes away the annoying symptoms so we can get back to “normal” again.

The culprit is my ego — more specifically my weak ego.

A person with strong ego accepts, learns and humbly moves through life, assuming that there is no “magic pill.” Just what is, is — deal with it.

A person with a weak ego suffers from entitlement i.e. “The world owes me a living.” and so lives in disappointment, anxiety and pain.

Eyes wide open. Risk nothing. Get nothing.
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From Dr. Jim Sellner, PhD., DipC. – The guy who works with you — one conversation at a  time — to create workplaces where people love to do their best and customers love to do business with you.

In my family, and in many executive meetings I’ve heard the phrase . . .

“I don’t care what you say . . . “

Conversation Over.

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From Dr. Jim Sellner, PhD., DipC. – The guy who works with you — one conversation at a  time — to create workplaces where people love to do their best and customers love to do business with you.

Talk about a wonderful marketing event.

There has been more written about this Apple iPhone4 Death Grip than the latest unemployment stats.

So here’s the deal.

We Mac lovers will forgive Apple and be more enamored than ever. Our response, “So what, Apple will fix it just like they did when our computers started on fire. It’s the price of being on the bleeding edge of innovation”

PC enthusiasts will feel comfortable in the knowledge that they made the right decision to go PC, Apple is fallible and that VISTA is great – which it probably is.

But here’s the point, unless — like Mel Gibson has — you really, badly and grossly screw up, everyone will hold their biased positions, no matter what.

Why?

Because as with many human endeavors we’d rather fight, rationalize or deny than switch. It’s just easier that way for us human beings.

Eyes wide open. Risk nothing. Get nothing.
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From Dr. Jim Sellner, PhD., DipC. – The guy who can & will works with you — one conversation at a  time — to create workplaces where people love to do their best and customers love to do business with you.

If you are REALLY serious about becoming more personally and professionally effective, do this. And it will not cost you big bucks.

But, you must be willing to experience your courage and put all your defenses away.

Find 4-6 people who will be brutally honest with you. No B.S. or holding back.

You want to hear the good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful.

• Your spouse, intimate partner is a good one! S/he probably knows you better than you know yourself!
• Find a couple of friend of same sex and opposite sex who will be direct and honest with you.
• Maybe an ex-love, wife, husband who is still angry at you – they love to lay it on the line!

Write everything down that they say. Only talk when you need to clarify something you don’t understand – - keep that at a minimum though.

Go over everything they said, put it in legible form.

Then ask a trusted friend to read it then read the things out loud to you.

Three months later ask another trusted friend to read it to you.

Do not. I repeat, do not, make any plans to change.

If you have truly absorbed what has been said your unconscious mind will propel you forward to become the person you were meant to be. No muss. No fuss. No bother.

You’ll know you’re on the right track when people start saying to you, “What’s happened, you seem to be really different.”

Question to Self:

“Do I have the courage and determination to be the person I was meant to be?”

Lemme know how it went for you.

Eyes wide open. Risk nothing. Get nothing.
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From Dr. Jim Sellner, PhD., DipC. – The guy who can & will works with you — one conversation at a  time — to create workplaces where people love to do their best and customers love to do business with you.